Because You're Mine
by ProfessorAmaya
Summary: Being a SOLDIER was never easy. Neither was being a Turk. Both positions come with difficult choices, and an obligatory introduction to one man: Hojo. To be both, though? Well, that has unique challenges . . . especially for a woman who wants nothing more than a simple life after a lifetime of anything but 'simple'. Toss in our red-headed Turk for wondrously complicated chaos!
1. Prologue

Initial Author's Notes:

¹ - 'Capellirossi' means red-head in Italian and in this story, it is Reno's real last name since the creators of FFVII never gave him one. I got the term/idea from drakonlily on 's fic (with her permission of course), "Symphony: I Tried". Go read it! It's about Reno and it is beyond amazing! Go read it!

² – for the purpose of this story, Reno's height is 5'7" (the same as Cloud), or 170.18cm. Carys in her 'normal' state is 5'6.75" or 167.005cm; this means she is a quarter of an inch shorter than Reno, literally, and in heels she is taller than he is (how much taller obviously depends on the heels!). However, as Alpha, she is 6'1" or 185.42cm (the same as Sephiroth) and significantly taller.

Now that we have those important little points out of the way . . . this is a fan fiction, obviously. What that means is that any and all copyrighted materials and characters from FFVII or elsewhere belong to Squaresoft/Square Enix and the respective copyright owners. Not me. All that is mine is the original plot, original characters (in some cases, giving original names and/or personalities and roles to pre-configured characters that are not as well defined: prime example, the Turks who aren't given much back story), and content of this story specifically. The titles of each chapter are derived from the songs that gave me the main inspiration for the 'theme' of that chapter, the feel or emotion I wanted to convey if you will. Sometimes, the songs I listened to relate to the chapter and that portion of the plot. So, if you've never heard a song you see selected here, maybe you could look it up and it'd be insightful to my process and the story in general. Originally, this story was inspired by the song "Fallen Angels" by RA and takes part of its title from that song as a result; there is a dedication to that song, still, at the beginning. However, this re-write of my story, 'Fallen Angels, Lost SOLDIERs' was largely prompted by the song "Back To You" by Selena Gomez from the OST of the show '13 Reasons Why' (which I have not actually watched yet; go figure), and Disturbed's "You're Mine", which it will now in part take the inspiration for the new name from.. Those songs are the main underlying prompts for this re-write, and as such can be accepted as a recurring loop of background music to the whole story. Kind of like my love for this story, which has undergone more than a few re-writes already (some that never even saw the light of day on the inter-webs; prior versions did/do exist both on and on ). This all started as a fun prompt from a friend in high school because she knew Reno was my favorite character despite him having only a little concrete character information. That is how this was initially born as a story concept, and it has grown ever since. I will never really abandon it, because it is my guilty pleasure to write it (and my other fan fictions). Now, enjoy!

**"Because You're Mine"**

Story formerly known as "Fallen Angels, Lost SOLDIERs"

By: ProfessorAmaya (formerly KazumaRokubi on ) a.k.a www. deviantart shinranightrain (remove the spaces)

"_Fallen . . . broken . . . simply dissolved, into an incomplete thought. An empty shell cracked, and disfigured. With no remorse, I have been blinded by the Darkness. With no disdain, I have received my punishment. And with no haste, I await them . . . ._" - this is the introduction from the song 'Fallen Angels' by the band RA. It is from this intro on the song that I first drew inspiration for this story. Therefore, quoting it is just proper.

**_"Prologue: Bye Bye Beautiful"_**

The meddling Turk lay on the floor where he had fallen; Hojo looked him over once more while contemplating an idea that had just occurred to him . . . . Yes, perhaps the Turk could yet be of use to him in more ways than one. A twisted smile crossed the vile face of the scientist as he had the Turk moved into the lab under the mansion. He then went in search of the stricken Lucrecia; when he found her, he spoke very softly, but then he needn't speak loudly of the idea that he believed she would gladly accept.

"Lucrecia, what would you say if I were to ask you to donate an ovum for an experiment?" Hojo's voice was silky and hideous all at once, but it did its job as Lucrecia's head snapped up, tears streaking her cheeks, and she studied him: he knew she was trying to decide for herself what game he was playing at, but he felt no need to be concerned even if she did figure it out. After all, she would not be able to stop him even if she did come to the correct conclusions.

"Why?" It was the only thing Lucrecia had the ability to say in her grief and suspicion.

"I should think that would be obvious. You are the only female scientist left since Gillian Hewley is already spoken for, and you are already carrying my child. The procedure is simple and would not interfere with the pregnancy: I simply remove a mature ovum directly from your ovary and do what I will with it. There would be no consequence to you, and with what I plan to do with it would not matter either way, as it will undoubtedly not result in a child or even a viable specimen. So, I ask again: what do you say to my using one of your ova for an experiment?" Lucrecia swallowed hard, and Hojo resisted the urge to smirk: he knew he had won.

"What are you going to do with it?" Her voice nearly cracked.

"Just fertilize it and see what happens to the development when I expose it to mako and Jenova cells; this way I will not have to study the one growing in your belly. I would think you would prefer this method since it is completely noninvasive on your pregnancy and poses virtually no risks whatsoever. I am also considering testing that strange matter that you found on it: The Chaos gene isn't it? On the other hand, perhaps the Alpha gene would be better. Both options will work for me really, and of course I'd want to be able to dissect it. Of course, if you'd rather not . . . ."

"Alright!" Lucrecia's sharp and shrill finality as she spoke was comical to Hojo, and it told him just how truly grieved she was over the Turk. "Please, just don't tell me what happens to it when you're done with it." Hojo did smile now, and it was with heinous pleasure that he did so. After all, she had technically just given him her permission to do what he wanted as long as she did not have to hear about it.

"Oh, don't worry. I will not tell you that." Now Hojo smiled, and it did little to comfort her. "I am not a cruel man after all. Now come along Lucrecia; it is dinner time."


	2. Introspection

**Author's Notes: This one gained the most inspiration from the songs "Going Under" by Evanescence and "Rewrite the Stars" by Zac Effron and Zendaya.**

_***This fic will begin dated August 09, 0011. Now, I have taken a few minor liberties with selecting this date. There's reasons for this, and I am in general using the time-line found on the Final Fantasy Wiki for FFVII (which I have noted one or two dating issues, such as at one point it specifies a date of February 30 and there are only 28 days in February). Further, no 'hard and fast' set dates are exclusively specified, but for simplicity I will say Advent Children occurs during spring of 0009. Likewise, I am putting forth for this fic that Dirge of Cerberus takes place over the course of perhaps a month, maybe two, in late spring and early summer of 0010. So, roughly just over a year prior to this fic. Carry on!**_

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Deep, almost black, mahogany hair—hair that was also sometimes an incandescent white—that caressed her body, highly intelligent and expressive eyes that glowed golden with mako, and bewitching lips twitching into a smirk that was full of confidence drove him to the edge of his tether. She was 'Alpha', the infamous Lt. General of SOLDIER; she was probably one of the best kept secrets of Shinra, actually. Everyone knew she was forbidden, expressly off-limits. Doubtless, she knew it, too. Now, like so often before, they watched each other from a distance in his mind's eye as he drank himself into a stupor. He knew that she wasn't there . . . but did it matter any longer? He took his shot, weighing his thoughts carefully as he poured yet another. As they watched each other, he real and she a memory, Reno reminisced about everything he knew about her. Their first encounter had been one of pure adrenaline for both parties, for instance. Back then, he was a fresh face to her, perhaps, but having grown up in the Slums meant he was more than capable of fighting just to keep what was his—including his life, on more than one occasion.

It was a good thing his mother was a medic. As a child she had always managed to patch him up right, then taught him how to do it himself as he aged. Already at that first meeting face-to-face, Alpha had been an accomplished SOLDIER. Just as he had already been a seasoned Turk of several years' service. Still, her being a couple years his senior meant that she had already been advanced in her training by the time he joined Shinra. It had been around the time when he had first heard of her that he had signed up. He'd caught his first glimpse from her 'fan club': women were almost never accepted into SOLDIER but having a successful and beautiful female First Class drew in plenty of secret admirers just the same. In her case, they were very much secret, too: not just keeping the fact they kept their adoration secret, but in the fact that if they didn't it meant they had to fess up to criminal charges. Nobody outside the Shinra building itself ever saw her—those that did ended up dead. As a result, her 'fan club' consisted almost exclusively of lower level Shinra employees and SOLDIERs . . . and a few of the Turks, like Reno's father. Letters from Flint Capellirossi to his family had often detailed accounts of her—though he had used a 'secret name'. So when Reno had first joined and Tseng casually mentioned that the Turks sometimes worked alongside SOLDIER, he'd been hopeful that he'd meet her one day. Ultimately though, Reno had joined because while Shinra might have flaws, they paid. The Turks especially were paid very well, indeed.

So he had joined the Turks, now several years past already, like his father before him. Half of his pay he arranged to have sent directly to his mother; she had worked herself to the bone to raise her children. Her adopted daughter, Reno himself, and the children of her husband's late sister—Alvis and his sister Aylin. In the end, it was just him and Alvis—until both boys had struck out on their own as teens. Reno had been accepted into the Turks early, at just fifteen; to date, he was one of the youngest recruits ever. Then he had done his best to become one of the best. Hopefully, that would let him see her at some point, and he could see if she was as lonely as her eyes looked. That first time he had been able to meet her, she had been on assignment in Wutai. She had been required to dress as similarly to Sephiroth, the General, as possible for this mission: this was because she was a decoy. They looked quite similar as it was, so it was not hard to pull off. Looking back, Reno believed that she wore boots that were custom made to add the required extra inches to her height. Also, she had been wearing gear nearly identical to Sephiroth's—the sole exception was a simple flesh colored bodysuit to hold her breasts flat and in place under the straps across her chest. She even wielded a sword that could be easily mistaken for the General's Masamune. Even so, anyone who got close enough to see that it wasn't the General after all was not going to be telling anyone else: she was strictly ordered to kill on contact, and that meant that anyone who got close enough to tell it was a woman dressed as Sephiroth had to die. By the time they arrived on scene, she'd already cleared out the entire mountainside of hidden troops and had made more than a little headway into taking control of the Fort.

**~circa. October 0000, Flashback~**

As the helicopter had landed, he and his fellow Turks—Rude had flown the helicopter, and Tseng had come as the most senior of them—were brought to a dead stop as they found her waiting for them. Calmly, she had stood among an untold number of corpses, the blood and gore dripping from her sword and clothes. It was even in her long, unbound hair, staining the pureness of the almost iridescent strands. Biting the tip of a gloved finger, she pulled the article off to reveal the clean skin beneath. Pulling a clean cloth from within her long coat, she quickly and expertly cleaned the long, wicked blade before holding it out to Tseng soundlessly. He took it, equally silent, like one takes something they would rather not touch, and which is most foul. Her eyes showed she held the same disdain for the weapon, and as those eyes traveled over the carnage she had wrought, there was an incomparable look of pure disgust. Of rage for some unspoken affront. All of which was directed inward. The feeling this invoked within Reno was indescribable. Still without speaking a word, she stepped over bodies without looking at them further. Reaching the helicopter, she shrugged her coat off and dropped it like tainted goods.

"Dispose of that."

Reno had gotten chills from the sound of her voice, and from the tone of complete hatred it held. Merely nodding, Tseng again took the coat up at her command, still silent, and placed it in a bin on the floor of the helicopter. Why did she seem so angry? Reno wasn't sure at first. He remembered belatedly that his immediate task was to provide her the spare outfit that they'd brought. He held it out, breath held tightly in his chest. Golden eyes flicked from his outstretched bundle to his eyes, and curiosity sparked there. Just as quickly, she disregarded him, and her gaze left him.

"Tseng, who is the redhead?" Even when she kept her voice painfully neutral, it was pleasing to hear.

"That is Reno; this is your first official meeting, isn't it?" Tseng looked privately amused. "He will oversee returning you to Headquarters, and he will be flying to retrieve you from future missions. This is also his first time in your helicopter; he may need brushing up on how to fly it. By far, he's the best rising pilot Shinra has." That bit of praise from Tseng made a hint of a flush creep up Reno's neck while it earned a soft, barely perceptible smirk from this exotic woman. Tseng was utterly unfazed as she began to strip the remaining articles of clothing from her body; she quirked a brow as Reno pointedly averted his gaze and flushed ever so slightly, though this meant he did not see her do so. These items, too, Tseng placed in the bin. Reno saw now that there was a bio-hazard symbol on it: it meant the bin would be sealed once she was done. Then, the entire thing would be incinerated upon arrival back in Midgar. He felt it as the clean items were taken from his outstretched hands, and when he finally chanced a glance in her direction, he saw she had already pulled the pants on; he dared not look much higher than her waist. Now, she was slipping the shirt down over her head and wriggling it down her rib cage: there appeared to be strange marks. Tattoos? No, these looked like scars or raised veins. Regardless, she was well built. Hers was very much an athletic, trained fighter's physique. Yet, it was so without being overly pronounced and bulky. She was strong, but she was also doubtlessly quick and agile. Flexible, too, Reno realized as she easily slipped past them and into the empty pilot's chair. Rude nodded to her as he abandoned his position as co-pilot, and she assumed control of the helicopter easily.

"Very well. I will return your redhead to you when his service to me is complete. I presume I am to drop the two of you off elsewhere?" Tseng gave a small chuckle then, and Reno would never forget that Tseng had been the one to get the barest hint of a smile out of her that day as he was instructed to sit in the co-pilot's seat. Other verbal exchanges during the flight had gone much the same, and she had indeed given him a very in-depth explanation of the basics he would need to master to pilot the helicopter. It was a different model than he had learned on. Tseng had called it **her** helicopter; this implied she had some sort of claim to it. Perhaps she had customized it? Reno did not know. Instead he had tried to focus as she instructed him to attempt it himself, saying practical application was the best teacher. He had proven himself a very rapid study, making mistakes only once or twice before getting the hang of it. By the time they had arrived back in Midgar, having dropped Tseng and Rude in Corel, he was quite good at it. She had raised a single eyebrow at him as Veld had met them at the heliport. Veld had briefly spoken with her at a distance where no one could overhear, and he had seen her smile genuinely at the leader of the Turks. Then she had been gone. Almost every other encounter up to the last one had been much more formal. She had pretended to notice him as little as possible, and he had feigned disinterest. Yet, some of their contact had lingered if possible, such as a hand on a glove as she handed it to him. Nearly two months of this pseudo cat and mouse game had ensued.

**~Time skip to August 09, 0011; Reno's drunken recollections~**

Both were keenly aware of the issues with mutual attraction—a fact that had been made undeniable by one secret, stolen moment when she'd been retired from SOLDIER. That one stolen moment was all he really knew of her beyond what he could find by asking others or reading personnel files—and that was precious little. Something had been different about her that day. Reno hadn't been able to put his finger on it for a long time. He had been the one, with Tseng, sent to retrieve her from her private quarters in the SOLDIER sector of the building. They were expected; Tseng had been with her earlier when her orders had been given. It had been only a few months since the Mass SOLDIER Desertion Incident; Genesis and Angeal were now both gone. Sephiroth and Zack were handling most missions that required higher ranking SOLDIERs. Now, it had been decided that she was to be removed from SOLDIER. Tseng seemed to have no desire to enter the female's quarters and had instead waited at the end of the hallway that led to her private rooms. Before, Genesis and Angeal's rooms were also down this hallway; Zack's were as well, and at the very end was Sephiroth's—neither were on the premises now, however. There weren't any others on this floor, either.

Risking it, Reno had knocked and then entered. She had been scowling out the large window down at the plates, beneath which one could find the Slums where Reno had grown up. Immediately he had reaffirmed his suspicions that she was not herself. Her hair, normally kept braided and pulled into a bun at the base of her skull unless she was ordered to wear it loose, was fully unbound as it had been the first time he had seen her. It was freshly washed, now, however. As he noticed this, he further realized she had naught but a robe draped around her body, and only loosely at that. She seemed to notice him, perhaps a reflection in the glass, and turned to meet his inspection with one of her own. There had not been many encounters which put them within speaking distance until this moment since that first one. Even when they had seen each other, it had been largely at a distance or in such conditions that speaking was impossible. Now, the only possible witness was Tseng who had kept a strict distance. Reno didn't even get to blink as she moved. It was intense, brief, and almost pain inducing as her lips met his. Instinctively he found himself returning the kiss, his hands finding her hips and making attempts at holding her closer. Just like that, it was over. His hands were left holding only the belt of her robe as she slipped from him as quickly as she had initiated the contact.

Dumbfounded, and physically pained by the sudden arousal only to be just as abruptly denied any further outlet, Reno had taken several attempts to collect himself. Failing, he followed to the door she had gone through. It was not shut. Inside, she was now nude, her back to him—his heart was going so fast that he thought it might break his sternum as she turned her head just enough to eye him warily. It was very reminiscent of a beast in a cage, as if she was trying to decide if he was a threat or not. He leaned on the door, and it shut soundlessly behind him. He had no idea what had just happened, but she owed him an explanation, at the least. He intended to get it. She raised an eyebrow, seeming to sense his thoughts again. As she turned to face him, he saw the scar on her chest: the veins he had seen before rose from it, spreading out like an incomplete road map across her torso and the base of her neck.

Awareness of his inspection was clear in her expression: he could tell she expected him to be repulsed. The truth was that he was intrigued, and alarmed: what had happened to her that it had left such a mark? When she would have turned away from him, he caught her wrist: it was foolish. He knew she could easily break his grip and worse, but she stilled beneath his touch instead. Her eyes, that golden glow mesmerizing him, met his own blue eyes with an unspoken demand. It shook his soul in ways he could not verbally express. It felt like eternity as they stood, each searching for any sign in the other of hesitation, of refusal: there was none. Their joining had been as quick as the kiss had been before it: rushed, urgent, and full of a potency of need that still made Reno's head spin even in memory as he reflected upon it. He was certain she must have ripped his belt and pants from him, but once they had both reached climax she withdrew quickly, though clearly reluctantly, from him.

Putting himself to rights, he had smiled to himself as she took her time, presumably dressing, in an adjacent room. When she had emerged, she had resumed her previous attitude: he had understood. Fraternization within the ranks was taboo and could easily land the guilty parties in very dire straits. Calmly, he had accepted her detached air as she curtly told him that her few possessions that she would be taking fit entirely in three cases and the bag she had hefted over her shoulder. At that moment, Tseng had entered with Rude, and the sharp reminder of their duties had brought Reno crashing back to reality as he had forced himself to grab one of the cases. Tseng and Rude had each taken one of the remaining two; if either suspected or knew what had occurred, they did not indicate it. They had then escorted her to her new quarters, which to Reno's alarm were close to the newly appointed young Vice President's office and on the floor directly below the President's office. Inside, he and his fellow Turks set her luggage down. Then, Tseng told her calmly to kindly recall that until further notice she was on house arrest and confined to her new quarters. Any excursions from her quarters were to be supervised by Veld or Tseng only.

"Oh, and Veld says that if you need anything, you have only to call, Carys." Tseng had said softly, to which she had scoffed. Reno had never heard anyone call her anything but 'Alpha' before; the use of her real name startled him into looking. She had met his eyes briefly, the glow seeming to be warm instead of harsh in that instant. That look in her eyes? Well, it told a different story than the scoff: he knew she had a unique relationship with Veld, and Veld had only ever spoken highly of her in the past—a rare enough thing on its own. As they were leaving, Tseng had seen the pained and confused expression on Reno's face. Misinterpreting the source of the emotion that caused his expression, Tseng explained what he thought Reno was concerned about. "Veld has always had an interest; she is about the same age as his late daughter would be and she was largely raised here within the Shinra building. As such, she often fell under Veld's supervision." Just like that, Reno had understood why she seemed to be genuinely fond of Veld. She must be the child of someone here at Shinra, one of the senior officers or something. Why else would she have grown up in and around the Shinra building itself? Sephiroth was much the same; both of them had spent quite a lot of time in Shinra, even as children it seemed. Both had entered SOLDIER at the same time, being some of the first members of the group to be successfully Mako enhanced. In fact, she and Sephiroth had both been SOLDIER First Class by age twelve—indeed, she and Sephiroth were both slightly older than Reno. They were almost the same age, even; it was why she had been chosen to impersonate Sephiroth at times.

That much, at least, was readily available knowledge to someone with the level of security clearance the Turks were graced with. And yet . . . . Even at his position as the third highest ranking Turk, second only to Tseng who was second-in-command after Veld, there were things he did not know. If anyone did, it would be Tseng or Veld—or the scientists. He had seen firsthand her reaction to the mere allusion to Professor Hojo. This meant he would not be asking that man for information except as a last resort. Well, that just left his fellow Turks. Tseng was more approachable; he also seemed to be more willing to share information with Reno. Asking Veld directly would probably just be looking for trouble, but he would if it came to it. As they had left her in her new quarters, Reno frowned. Trying to decide when and how to best phrase his inquiries, he had decided to sleep on it and do what digging he could on his own. There were a few other Turks, long time members like himself or Rude, who might know more. They may have seen things or heard things. He decided to ask Emma first; the female gunslinger would be easiest to ask, and most likely to answer. Her father was an instructor at the Shinra Military School and had once upon a time been friends with his own father.

Then, he would ask Legend; the man had laughed when the other Turks had been surprised to learn that was, in fact, his real name. Only Reno and Rod had been unsurprised, though neither spoke it aloud. Neither of them commented much on Legend at all, and Reno pointedly avoided him if he could. After that, he would ask Gideon, more often known as 'Katana' to other Shinra operatives because that was his weapon of choice. Neither male would be very open to the conversation unless he worded it just so, but they had been with the Turks long enough to possibly have answers about her. He would ask Rude if it came to it, but he didn't really want to tip his partner off to his curiosity just yet. That could make his search harder if Rude mentioned it to Veld and then was ordered to obstruct him. Cissnei was also an option, he realized as he found himself staring directly at her. In fact, she would likely be even easier to ask than Emma. If he recalled correctly, she had been raised within the Corporation as well. She would doubtlessly have answers. Having made the decision, he now had to wait for the opportune moment to ask the others free of witnesses.

That opportunity had arisen unexpectedly, and much later than he'd intended; he had not seen **her** since December. Not since they'd had sex in Rocket Town on the twenty-fourth, and she had told him it couldn't happen again. An ultimatum he'd accepted, no matter how much it chaffed at him. After that, she had seemed to be avoiding him; he had let her. Being near her only rubbed his nerves raw. It was early July when he heard the first whisper that something had gone horribly wrong. Rumors that something had happened to her. Between assignments, he had taken the time out to stop by on July 11th; Tseng had been wary, while Veld had outright tried to dissuade him when he learned of Reno's intentions. Openly ignoring them both, he had done it anyway. Yet she had not been in her quarters, as the assignment roster had indicated she ought to be. Perturbed by this, Reno had gone looking. When he had finally found out where she was, and what had happened, he had been physically pained and ill: she'd been taken to Hojo, in significant distress it was true, under duress. Reno had not even been aware she was pregnant. Now, he was told that the doctors that were called in by Hojo had been ordered to cut the baby from her womb. It had been premature, and one of the aides told him that Professor Hojo had stated that if left to her own devices, she and the infant would have both died before the child was born.

Elaborating without betraying confidentiality—cooperation being aided by Reno's Turk skill set—the aide had said something about dangerously high blood pressure, seizures, and contractions coming on suddenly. While he knew that such a thing could and did happen, it still rankled. The reason it bothered him, he had finally settled upon, was that it seemed odd that she would not have noticed anything. That she would not have found some way, Hojo be damned, to get help for herself if she was feeling even a little poorly. All the Turks knew she had a soft spot for children; he did not believe she would have rejected the pregnancy. Especially not when doing so would have endangered her own life. As such, Reno was not entirely sure he believed a word of what the aide described from the medical file; Hojo was not immune to falsifying information to suit his purposes. However, there had been nothing Reno could do about it. Since the procedure three days prior, they'd had to keep her heavily sedated and she was slowly recovering even with her innate healing ability. What had become of the child, he had not been able to find out. Tseng had caught up to him finally outside Hojo's lab, and he had been ordered to let the matter drop. It had been the way Tseng had looked, as if giving that order broke something within him, that had reached Reno. Deeply rattled, but not about to let it show, he had done as ordered.

Between assignments, he had not seen her again for several months. Once he did, she was markedly different. Even more evasive than before, and acting as a private bodyguard more often than not. She was now rarely allowed to leave the Shinra building itself, and then it was exclusively in the company of the President, Vice President, or another high ranking official. This became more and more restricted as things became more complex during the fight against AVALANCHE. At one point, she exclusively guarded the building itself, never leaving the topmost floors that held the offices of the President and the Shinra executives. When he did see her, she would not meet his eyes any longer. Nor would she speak to him. It hurt: he had no way of knowing if the child had been his. Being that the child had apparently been born early, it was certainly possible as they had been intimate in early December. However, he had also been in the company of a very drunk Rufus Shinra at one point and learned that the Vice President had been privileged to 'enjoy' her company as well . . . Whether or not she'd been willing in those instances, he had no clue. Unfortunately, he wouldn't put it past the Vice President to rape.

Furthermore, he knew full well that like the rest of the Turks, she would obey an order when given even if it was something like that. That meant the child could have also been a Shinra heir. He assumed that had the child been Rufus's and had it lived, being illegitimate, it would have been hidden away at best. At worst, the President would have made Rufus's little 'mistake' vanish. Of course, this was all assuming she had no other lovers. Or that she had not been the subject of some experimentation to result in a child arranged by Hojo to begin with. Either way, it was unlikely the child was alive. Even if it was alive, assuming it was not Rufus's child, then Hojo had probably kept it as a specimen regardless of its' birth being unintentional or not. That was almost worse than if it was dead. Reno knew this, and he knew she knew it, too. Grief was unique, and he would not fault her for cutting him off in her grief. He knew she was also still grieving the news that her former comrades, Genesis and Angeal, had been reported as dead. Now, he knew that Genesis was still at large, but news had come a few months prior to the birth—could he even call it that?—of Angeal's death. So he simply let her have space. If she wanted to, she could seek him out at any time. It wasn't like they had ever had anything that resembled a real relationship, anyway.


	3. Whisper

**Chapter Two: Whisper**

***Still experiencing a trip down Reno's memory lane, which means the ACTUAL date is still August 09, 0011.**

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_**M**_uch of the next two years had been spent with minimal contact between them. Her duties often meant she went wherever the Vice President did, and she was never again seen publicly as anything but a bodyguard. Reno had noticed when her hair changed color—he presumed she dyed it. No longer was there the stunning near white hue. Now, it was a shade of auburn so dark that unless the light hit it just right, it appeared black. She also now kept it exclusively bound in a bun at the back of her skull, which only enhanced the illusion that it was black. She also wore only the Turk uniform now: no traces of her SOLDIER one remained. Often, she carried no weapons: she had little need for them, after all. She could shatter the average person's bones with a single blow. When she did carry a weapon, it was her personal favorite: a large, hula hoop sized chakram that was razor sharp on the outside and inside. Grab guards were place inside the blade itself on opposite points around its diameter, so that she could easily twirl in and out of it or around it with deadly precision. Then the Nibelheim Incident had occurred. That had also been when Rufus had been revealed to have been the AVALANCHE mole; her duties to guard him were now also doubling as monitoring him. After Nibelheim, her reclusive and taciturn behavior had become even more pronounced. Upon the events in Rocket Town nearly a year after Nibelheim, Rufus Shinra was detained and she was again assigned to guard him: hour upon hour, she stood outside the rooms he was held in. The task did not seem to bother her.

However, Veld's defection to pursue his daughter Felicia, whom he had discovered was alive and now called Elfé, had clearly distressed her. Unless it was under orders, which Tseng was loath to give, she no longer was willing to leave her rooms or her post outside Rufus's 'cell'. This was because she had been ordered by the higher ups in the company to kill Veld on sight—and she was not in the mind frame to disobey Heidegger or the President so openly. Tseng had warned him that she was in a sort of 'fight or flight' mindset, where her mind had locked into a state of obedience to divert unwanted attention from herself. What that had meant had confused Reno at first, but then he had considered the fact that of them all, she had been closest to Veld and would be most likely to know where he might hide. That made things easier to understand; she was doing the same as any of them were. That was her way of trying to protect Veld. This continued for over three years. To get her to emerge had required extreme amounts of coaxing by any of them, and they more often failed, but Cissnei had somehow managed it with a single phone call. By this time, it was December of 0006. Then, she had taken one look at the file on Tseng's desk and turned on her heel sharply with a simple, "I've got something important to do."

Tseng had let her go, presumably knowing exactly what it was she felt she had to do. They'd had their own important work to do, after all. By February, the President had ordered all the rogue Turks to be captured and, failing that, they were to be killed on sight. Carys was among those whom the orders pertained to. Then, in September, Tseng gave them a Priority S mission to find Zack Fair before the Shinra Army did. Reno knew it was very likely Carys had gone to attempt to find him herself; she'd been gone since they had 'escaped'. It might feel like a duty to her, as he was the last remaining SOLDIER First Class aside from herself. She had not returned even once since December. When the news reached him that Zack had been killed, Reno convinced himself not to worry; she wasn't the type he needed to worry about. As the months worn on, it was presumed she had defected and gone to join Veld. For a time, Reno considered that perhaps she had. Then, in mid-October of 0007 he saw her again; it was just after the Zirconiade Incident. Like them, she had been detained upon her return to the Corporation. They remained so while awaiting the decision from President Shinra about their fates. Even then, she would still not breath a word of where she had been or what she had done. The renegade Turks as well as Veld and Elfé had all fled or been secreted away, while she, Tseng, Reno, and Rude had returned to Shinra. The guards were loath to get close to her after she had killed one bare handed when he had attempted to force himself on her. After that, she'd had to do very little to bribe her way into Reno's 'cell' and have the door firmly shut behind her with promises from the guards not to open it until she signaled them. He had been surprised, and confused as she spoke to him, barely audible. Yet he had listened, and he had believed her as she told him that she had learned vital information that changed many things. Then, to his utter disbelief, she had apologized to him. When asked what for, she had confessed that she cared about his opinion of her, and that perhaps she might care for him in a personal capacity.

Easily, he recognized the hesitation to use the word 'love'; he did not blame her though. It was a serious thing, even more so for a SOLDIER or a Turk, to commit to. Still, he did not refuse as she offered herself, saying if they were to be executed anyway then what harm could it do? He couldn't fault that logic, but he had asked what it would mean if they weren't executed. A soft smile had been his only answer as she had kissed him. This time had been different. Given that they were supposed to each be detained in separate rooms, guarded, nobody came looking for them—if anyone had, that was the only condition upon which she had told the guards to disturb them. Taking their time, they enjoyed each other quite seriously, testing the limits of what they could achieve. They had reveled in the pleasure they could provide each other. It then had become a habit that she would sneak into his confinement quarters every few nights. By the start of December 0007, she told him that she would not be able to return: it seemed her absence had begun to be noticed. A few days passed, and the hearing arrived on December 9th, 0007. Reno, Rude, and Tseng were cleared by Rufus's appeal; to Reno's horror, Carys was not. Despite Rufus's continued attempts to sway his father, President Shinra would not change his mind. The President deemed her a relic of a failed project, and a threat: a wild animal that might appear tame, but which he believed would still bite. In his mind, it was only a matter of time until that betrayal.

Her sentence was to be sent to a top secret, maximum security holding cell, where her execution would be carried out in three days' time. She had smiled, then thrown her head back and laughed. It had been a frightening laugh, almost sounding of delight. In that instant, she seemed to be completely unhinged. Then she had turned, still snickering, as the guards surrounded her. She had assured them she would go willingly, that they need not fear her. The Turks had watched, unable to do anything, and Reno had gritted his teeth as she passed him: her eyes held his for a moment, and he saw it there then. Saw the reflection of his own heart and soul staring back at him. He knew she loved him, then—and he had fallen for her, though he wasn't sure when.

The next day had brought the death of President Shinra. The morbid irony of the date struck Reno. Almost as soon as he arrived to assume command of the Corporation, Rufus had sent word to return Carys. Word that she was now pardoned under the order of the new President. The reply had given all of them pause, as they did not know whether to believe it or not. It simply said she had attempted to escape, taking a child candidate for SOLDIER with her—both had vanished, the search parties unable to track them at all. Some weeks later, word came that a search party had found their hideout. Having been shot at from within the building, the search team had opened fire. Afterwards, the hideout had been investigated to reveal their corpses. Reno had felt rather hollow at that: he had a nagging feeling the child she'd rescued was her son, and that meant possibly his or Rufus's son. Did Rufus know he may have just lost a son? Did the possibility and uncertainty eat at him like it did Reno? Could she, and the child, truly be dead? Those had been the questions that had driven Reno to smoke and drink. Vain attempts to numb himself. To make it easier to do his job. The resurgence of the new AVALANCHE, as well as the supposed reappearance of Sephiroth, meant that they had no time or opportunity to investigate that claim of Carys's death further. By the time they did have an opportunity, over a year had passed: Midgar and the Shinra Electric Power Corporation lay in ruins after Meteorfall, and much of the world had presumed Rufus Shinra was dead even though this was not true.

Still, despite all their best efforts—even with Tseng going so far as to contact the former Turks and Veld—nothing was to be found. They began to fear that it just might be true. After all, Zack had ultimately been overwhelmed, and executed, in a similar fashion not long before she had been sentenced. Still, they kept their ears to the ground, figuratively speaking, for any whisper of her that might hint that she had escaped. Remnants of Sephiroth came, and went: Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz had proven to be troublesome, to say the least. Still, in the end Geostigma had been shown to have a cure in the waters of Aerith's old Sector 5 church. Then there had been the mess with Deepground. While they had not been as directly involved, they were still unable to fully devote time to searching for signs of Carys. Indeed, just now Tseng and Rude had each told Reno more than once that it might be time to let it go. Now was yet another instance as Reno was faced with his superior approaching him.

"Three years, Reno, is a long time to hold on to memories of things we can never again have." Tseng said gently, looking quite sad to those who could read him as well as Reno could. Even mostly drunk, Reno recognized that deep pain in Tseng's eyes. The guilt, though Reno wasn't sure if that was deserved or not. Tseng knew more than he was telling, but did it make him guilty?

"Caz is more'n 'ust a memory, yo." Reno had slurred only a little in his growled response. Elena was confused by this statement, as she had not had nearly as much familiarity with the other female; she knew of Carys, but only barely. Elena also knew nothing of Tseng's feelings about Aerith like Reno and Rude did. Despite the two having formed a relationship, Tseng had never told Elena the truth. Reno had shaken his head, not needing to say anything else. Mostly sobered up a couple hours later, he had gone to Rufus and stated he was going to investigate a lead in Wutai. Even a blind man could have seen the look in Rufus's eyes that said he knew it was bullshit, but Rufus had let him have it.

"Still searching, are you?" Rufus had asked quietly, not even looking at his redheaded Turk. Reeve, who had been meeting with Rufus, had seemed confused at first. Then Rufus had pulled a file out of his desk and gently slid it across to Reno: it wasn't thin, but it wasn't overly huge either. A simple folder the size of a one inch three ring binder, though admittedly stuffed full. Reeve had suddenly looked like he understood all too well; Reno didn't really notice. "There are photographs in there, which will be helpful if anyone has seen her and she's using an alias. Good luck searching, Reno." That had been odd, but at the same time it wasn't; he wondered if Rufus knew that the boy was possibly his son. Or he knew he wasn't; Hojo would have undoubtedly run genetic testing, including paternity. That thought had sobered him more than anything else could have. So Reno had taken the binder gingerly, unsure what he might find inside it. Instead of reading it he had simply carried it, taking a helicopter—_**her**_ helicopter, which had become his—and headed for Wutai. When he had landed, he had found that Cloud and Tifa had brought the kids on vacation and were staying at the Inn as well. The two groups, former adversaries, had put past differences behind them after the Remnant business a year prior. Still, he had been loath to admit why he was there, and so had used a convenient excuse of checking up on family. That had, however, backfired as Tifa had asked who he was visiting.

Quickly, he had snapped that it wasn't really their business: Tifa had blinked, obviously shocked by his venom. Feeling guilty, he had apologized and only half lied as he said his mother: she had moved to Wutai after Midgar had been destroyed, after all. Almost instantly, the little ninja brat—whom he had not noticed at first—had leapt up and proclaimed in a loud voice, "Oh! I know who you mean! Dr. Capellirossi, right? It has to be; you two look too much alike for it to not be her!" Reno had blinked, startled, and nodded. Yuffie had simply sat, smirking smugly at having been right. Tifa had told him that was nice, and that if he had time, maybe he could stop back by. He had been amused, as Cloud had simply shrugged when she'd indicated the blond might enjoy his company.

So it was that he was now aimlessly wandering around Wutai on August 11th. That was when he saw her. A woman that looked so much like Carys that it _**hurt**_, as his breathing and heart both stuttered, was at the playground. With her were a young boy of perhaps nine and an even younger girl, a toddler really, who was maybe two or three if he had to guess. Both children looked like they could be the woman's children; actually, he was certain they were. The boy's facial structure and build looked eerily familiar to him—though he couldn't place why—with dark hair and brown eyes. Meanwhile, the girl looked almost exactly like his own baby pictures at that age. The little girl noticed him and tugged on the woman's sleeve while pointing: she turned, and his breath hitched.

"Carys?!" He knew it was her without doubt, even though her hair was no longer the thick, fine wavy curtain that had reached her knees it had been almost four years ago: her dark hair was now cropped short, just barely brushing the middle of her shoulder blades. This was equally breath-taking, but it was the eyes that confirmed her identity: they glowed golden as they narrowed at him, effectively pinning him to the spot. Before he could react, she was ushering the children away: she was running from him? Reno couldn't help it as he instinctively jumped the low fence and dashed over to her. Grabbing her firmly but gently, he turned her to face him. "Yo, Carys! It's me, Reno! Talk to me!" He did not expect the blow to the face, nor the force with which it was delivered.

"Let go! Nikola, take Adanna and run!" Carys did not shout or scream, but the effect of that simple spoken command was virtually the same: Reno would not and did not let go even when he stumbled, but the boy grabbed the girl and fled. Glad that nobody was anywhere nearby, Reno grappled with Carys until he somehow forced her to the ground and pinned her beneath him: she was still struggling fiercely, but she seemed to be unable to unseat him. In the back of his mind, he registered that as odd. "I said let go! HELP! Somebody help!" Now she _was_ shouting, and Reno quickly covered her mouth with his hand.

"Carys, relax! It's just me, Reno! Don't you recognize me?" As she continued to try to scream, Reno realized that she did not: his heart felt like it had been ripped in half. Whatever Deepground—he had learned that was where her execution had been set to take place—had done to her, they had done the job well: the Carys he had known was as good as dead because this woman beneath him, who was and yet wasn't Carys, did not even seem to know how to fight back. The Carys he remembered would have already had him dead if that was her desire. With his heart weighing heavily in his chest, Reno attempted to calm her. "Carys, listen to me! I'm sorry I scared you, and if you promise to stop screaming, I'll apologize, let you go, and leave you alone, okay?" After a moment she stopped and lay still while staring at him warily, like he was some sort of beast not to be trusted. "There, that's more like it: I'm sorry for scaring you and grabbing you. You look like somebody I used to know, and I wanted to talk to you. I'm gonna let you up now." Slowly he released her and got to his feet before helping her to do the same. "Truce?" He held out his hand for her to shake; she hesitated, and then took it.

"Who are you? And how do you know my name?" She asked cautiously. Her grip held his hand firm; it seemed she was demanding an answer. Clearly, she still had her former strength even if she was not fully capable of utilizing it.

"Name's Reno; I'm from Midgar, or at least I used to be before it was destroyed. Ever been to Midgar?" He was surprised that she had not immediately bolted after the children. Instead, she seemed to have subconsciously adopted a stance that, while subtle, would allow her to attack or flee on a moment's notice. So there was some fragment of her left in there, after all.

"Midgar . . . ." She seemed to reflect internally, and it did in fact look as if she was mentally battling herself. "I have been there. Several times before. It has an unpleasant connection in my mind." Her expression had darkened slightly, and he saw that golden glow in her eyes again before they seemed to fade back to a more natural green. "You said I look like someone you know; you called me by name, as well. You have not yet answered my questions." Reno felt his pulse quicken. "The chances that I would look like this person, and share the same name, while not being the same person—such odds are astronomically slim. So, Reno . . ." The way his name rolled off her tongue, as if she were testing how it sounded and fit into the puzzle, made his blood feel like it might literally boil. "I ask again, who are you really, and how is it you think you know me? What would prompt you to assault a woman who might only happen to be someone whom you once knew?"

He considered the answer he would give, seeing her observe him: she seemed to read his every movement. No, it was like she could read his every thought, almost like his movements broadcast his intent on loudspeakers. She had every chance to turn and run, losing him in the streets of Wutai. To go and find those children that had been with her: he had questions about them, too. Yet she remained, watching him with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. Suddenly, she spoke again. "Tick tock, tick tock: I will not remain patient for long." As she shifted her weight, he thought he saw her hair shimmer with that blueish white he had known before.

"You didn't tell me I had a time limit. That's no fair, Caz." He chuckled; he missed the brief flicker in her eyes, and the momentary stiffness at the nickname only he had ever given her. "All right. I'm Reno, and I am a Turk. I work for Rufus Shinra." Her eyes glittered dangerously at that. "You and I used to work together; you were a Turk, too. Before that, you were a SOLDIER." In a change that occurred almost instantly, like the flip of a switch, her stance had shifted while he spoke the words. In the next instant, a series of movements he didn't even see had him on his back and unarmed: he found himself looking at her—the white haired and golden eyed version of her, as he had remembered her—over the barrel of the handgun he had always carried, but had seldom ever used.

"Time's up." Her gaze and her voice were cold; her aim had always been flawless. She was going to blow his brains out with his own Shinra-issued weapon. She began to pull the trigger, and in that instant a yell came from off somewhere behind and to the left of them. Reno recognized Rude's voice right as the gun was swung seamlessly to fire at the person who attacked her. She effortlessly vaulted back and away from him, flipping no less than three times before landing in a crouch with a feral snarl. "Fools."

Reno blinked, dazed momentarily, before Rude's face appeared over his and he was roughly hauled to his feet. He saw that it had been Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie that had leapt to his defense with his partner, which surprised him. The other three had taken defensive stances between them and Carys while Rude had checked to see if he was still alive. The Turks both knew she could have killed him without ever touching the gun. That was purely for show.

"Do you want her to kill you?! Who knows what Deepground did to her?!" Rude, who didn't often speak more than necessary, was giving him a critical look as his spoke in a barely audible tone. Reno suddenly realized that Rude had known, or at least suspected, and followed him out of concern of this exact result. The betrayal, though short-lived, rankled deeply. Rude shook his head before acknowledging the accusation in Reno's eyes. "Yes, Tseng suspected after we got a tip. He told me to keep you out of Wutai. He wanted to scout it out first . . . to see if she was dangerous or not. We knew you'd just go charging in, and you proved us right." Behind them, the others were trying their best to engage Carys's attention: she was not fooled.

"I have no business with you interlopers. Step aside and I will leave you unharmed. I was speaking with Reno of the Turks." She then vanished—or seemed to—and was right beside Reno and Rude. One gentle touch to Rude's sternum and the large man went several feet backwards, clean off his feet, before impacting with Yuffie.

"If you call that talking, I'd hate to see fighting!" Yuffie grumbled indignantly as she and Rude both coughed and tried to right themselves: neither was visibly hurt . . . yet.

"Give me one good reason to believe you came here in good faith. Just one." She spoke in a deadly soft tone, her white hair shimmering in the fading light and her eyes glowing like golden fire as she glared at Reno, her slight height advantage even in bare feet causing her to have to lean in towards him. Her face was inches from his. "I intend to kill you if you can't; you might have been dead already if they had not interfered." Now her face showed hatred. "I refuse to be a pet for Rufus Shinra."

"I just wanted to see you." Reno's voice was inaudible to the others, but she heard him. "I came over to talk to you purely for my own selfish reasons." He met her gaze, unflinching. "I wasn't even sure it was you, at first. They said you died. Caz . . . ." She backed away as if badly burned, her face a calm and cold mask while her eyes smoldered with suppressed emotion. When she spoke, the words were pitched only for him.

"I did die. I just got back up again; I found something I had to live for in that hell. So I broke loose, and never looked back." She backed further away. In a move he had most often seen out of the Kisaragi girl, there was a flash, a bang, and a cloud of smoke that obscured the senses. As it cleared, amid curses from those who had gathered, they saw she had disappeared.

"Satisfied?" Rude asked bluntly, still too quiet for the others to overhear. The taller man was holding his chest and rib cage discreetly as he stood by his partner.

"No. I didn't get to ask all my questions." Reno frowned, equally quiet, realizing that he was getting a lot of looks from the others. He knew he had some explaining to do. "Plus, she took my gun."


	4. Sharp Edges

**Chapter Three: "Sharp Edges"**

**Author's Note: As might be inferred, one song in particular that was a source of inspiration for the title of this chapter due to the general 'mood' of it was "Sharp Edges" by Linkin Park. Now, this was originally written LONG before that album ever came out, but the inspiration was, in fact, still Linkin Park. Originally, this chapter was titled "One Step Closer".**

**On a final note, I recently discovered Archive of Our Own/AO3 and will be in the process of posting the entire story there, uncensored and in full original explicit glory I wrote it in. I'll still do so over on deviantart, but it's a bit more tedious there. Not as streamlined and uninterrupted, and still with restrictions. This was not intended as a PG read, like ever. And the more I worked on it, the more explicit it became with each rewrite because that's just how the Turks are projected to be and how SOLDIER/Hojo was projected to be. So, if you're interested, I'll get the details for that once I get it up and add it to the story info and my profile here.**

* * *

_**N**_earby, Carys listened in through the trace materia she'd tapped Reno with. The materia was a custom design, and completely maxed out. She could hear as they discussed her; or rather, as the newcomers questioned Reno and he remained silent. These were former members of AVALANCHE. She was not uninformed: she had heard of the recent events with Deepground. She had assisted in evacuations in Kalm herself, along with others, when it had fallen under attack. She had then retreated back to Wutai, where she owned land and a business that she'd acquired during the fall out from the Wutai war. She had been working towards purchasing all that remained of Banora as well. That had meant going around Rufus Shinra, though. She'd managed it, with difficulty, and was now in possession of most of the deeds to the various buildings and tracts of land in the fallen Banora. She had to admit that taking that job for the WRO had been beneficial: Reeve had remembered her and respected her request for privacy and anonymity. She in turn, would produce materia for them and do tasks that required more 'muscle' as it were. She could do this as easily as breathing, and her method of materia production did not rely on the sorts of power and machines that Shinra had. It did not negatively impact the planet in the slightest.

She remained stationary, moving only when they returned to the inn to stay in range. She had no real concern for Adanna or Nikola; she knew Nikola would guard his sister with his life. Besides, Leila and Quinton lived nearby to her own home and would keep them until she returned; having the former Turks within her new 'family' had been a blessing. Their support and aide had greatly helped her recovery, and they had helped her learn how to parent. She knew her son could tell them where she'd gone, and why. After all, he had been raised without her for years in Deepground. Even after she'd arrived, it had taken several months before she had been able to properly gain her son's trust after she had broken them both out. It had taken even more work and deviousness—though less time—to convince the search parties that they were both dead: she wasn't proud of that particular deception. It had cost her dearly and involved methods she was not fond of. Part of that cost had been the loss of some memories. She had regained some of it already, piece by agonizing piece, but it was incomplete.

As those others asked questions, she learned what they knew of her: it was little more than nothing, and Reno was not being forthcoming. Yet, to her alarm she heard a call between Reno and Tseng in which Tseng stated he was coming there directly. Damn that Wutaian for being the closest thing she'd ever had to a friend. Her own memory was tainted and shattered. She knew her name, she remembered her time as a Turk—she remembered Reno especially—and she knew what had happened since she'd been sent to Deepground. Nikola had always been at the forefront of her mind: at first, the boy and the knowledge that he was her son was all she'd had. She knew when she'd discovered Nikola, when she had broken them out. Her former position as a Restrictor had been dead useful; although, she feared she had been the one to expose the weakness of the Restrictors to Weiss. It was not precisely that she felt bad about that. Rather, it was the knowledge that if she had not done so, perhaps the Tsviets would not have been successful in circumventing the control of the Restrictors. If they had not, perhaps the Omega Incident would not have happened. Then again, it probably would have anyway, just in a different way.

Her preoccupation to escape Weiss, in whom she could readily sense Hojo's influence, had been too great. Though she had not recognized _**why**_ she wanted away from Weiss at first. That realization had come later, after the Omega Incident. She had known when she had learned she was pregnant with Adanna, and she remembered birthing her daughter in the wilderness outside Nibelheim with only Nikola and Stella—a medic Veld had hired to care for her and Nikola after their escape from Shinra and Deepground surveillance—in attendance. They had taken the most discreet routes she could think of as they fled. Stella had respected her desire to remain away from people as much as possible when she provided only the fact that she was fleeing Midgar. Concurrently, Stella had asked no questions unless it was relevant to helping her stay healthy. It was not until much later that she had learned who, precisely, Stella was.

Stella was Reno's mother: Stella Capellirossi.

It had been when Adanna was perhaps six months old. She'd brought the baby round for a check, as she had no idea what to do with babies, and she'd seen pictures on the wall. Pictures of Reno and Stella, ranging from when he was a Turk back to baby pictures that matched Adanna perfectly. In several pictures of his childhood and early teen years, there was a pair of young women that she assumed were his sisters. Also, she saw photographs of Rod with Reno and the young women—his sisters—as boys, and newer ones of Rod and Leila with their family. That had been when she'd known. Still, she had not confessed her identity, even then, to the other woman. No one could know; until she was certain that it was safe, not a soul could ever know who she was or where she had gone.

A shift in the conversation pulled her full focus back to the task at hand. In this way, she now knew that only Reno had seen the children. When he mentioned them, the others were confused and did not know what he was talking about: Reno immediately dismissed the topic. Once he had left the others, she waited: he did as she had predicted, exiting the inn and heading back towards the park where he'd engaged her. She followed, curious as to his 'personal' motivations that he had mentioned before. From what fragmented details she remembered, they had shared a painfully brief yet intense fling: it could scarcely be called more than that. Some encounters, flirtations and outright sex, scattered over the years, and then in her final months, an escalation of that. From late October until the first couple of days of December, she had spent every other night with him.

Looking back, she was certain that one of those nights had been the one she had conceived Adanna. Her daughter bore a striking resemblance to him, and her hair was the least of that; she could see the relation clearly. There was not a speck of doubt in her mind he was her father. Did he suspect? He had seen Adanna, and he was no fool. He might pretend to be, but he was decidedly not incompetent. She knew that better than anyone, likely. They had spent hours just talking on a few of those long-lost nights: about each other, about their hopes and dreams, and about the things that kept them from reaching those aspirations. She had bared her soul to him as much as she dared, once. She remembered that much, at least. She knew the rest of her knowledge was there, in her mind, like a giant labyrinthine library. Certainly she would find it if she went looking, but once she found it, she might be unable to come back out; she knew that this had been like what had occurred with Sephiroth. She had confined herself , after that incident with Sephiroth in Nibelheim.

They had feared she might go insane, too. She still wasn't entirely sure why, but she suspected it had a lot to do with the strange raised veins and scars on her chest and torso. They were less pronounced now, dormant just as her memories and the 'other' aspect of her mind were. She could feel that half of her consciousness stir, restless: she could still tap into those powers, but the core of her memories and sense of being that her 'alter ego' possessed remained obstinately hidden from her waking mind. It whispered to her again now as she watched Reno moving about, retracing the steps of their actions, yet only mere hours previously. After perhaps another hour, Tseng materialized out of the black of a nearby and sparsely lit walkway in the oppressive darkness as the night turned towards the still distant dawn. They exchanged words too quiet for even her hearing and her trace materia to detect, or perhaps they did not speak at all. But Tseng handed Reno something then, a file it looked like: her mind flared to full awareness and she moved unthinkingly. As she drew ever closer, she saw that it was a dossier. The marks across it declared it top-level classified, and yet Tseng was handing it casually to Reno. She could hear them now.

"You may not like what you find out, Reno." Tseng was cautioning him. "There are horrors in this file that would be enough to drive a person insane just reading them, never mind seeing the pictures. I need to know you're fully prepared for what you're going to find out."

"I need to know Tseng. I can't explain it to you right now, but I need to know. Besides, the boss gave me this thinking pictures might help me find them; I might as well read it." Tseng sighed, finally relinquishing his hold on the dossier he had retrieved for Reno from the Inn. "You can say, 'I told you so.' all you want later." Tseng shook his head before leaving Reno alone. Reno sat on one of the benches under a light—the closest one to Carys's position as luck would have it—and took a deep breath before he slowly opened the binder. Carys's enhanced vision allowed her to see it as easily as he did, even in the near blackness and from several meters.

_**Project Alpha; Jenova Project**_

_**Status: Project terminated due to loss of all viable specimens.**_

_**Specimen JA-XIII-00**_

_**FEMALE**_

_**Name: Carys "Alpha" Valentine**_

_**DOB: July 13, 1980**_

_**Mother: Dr. Lucrecia Crescent, deceased**_

_**Father: Vincent Valentine – Turk, deceased**_

_**Experiment Parameters:**_

_**Selective sperm usage to produce desired gender in specimen - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Genetic engineering during embryonic stage of development to fuse specimen with Jenova cells and the Alpha gene - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Genetic engineering during embryonic stage of development to restrict specimen's reproductive capacities - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Genetic engineering during embryonic stage of development to fuse specimen with materia - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Genetic engineering during embryonic stage of development to alter aging capacities of specimen - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Implantation of specimen in womb of carefully selected and prepared carrier - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Birth of viable specimen - SUCCESSFUL; surrogate carrier of specimen perished during birthing due to Specimen JA-XIII-00's lack of control over the materia infused into the specimen's body.**_

_**Surgery to implant heart of Jenova into Specimen JA-XIII-00's chest cavity and connect it in a functioning manner; age one - SUCCESSFUL; Specimen JA-XIII-00 now has two viable hearts to control blood regulation and homeostasis - this allows Specimen JA-XIII-00 to complete the transition of aging capacities.**_

_**Train Specimen JA-XIII-00 to be SOLDIER 1st Class Elite; age eight - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Enlist Specimen JA-XIII-00 as SOLDIER 1st Class Elite; age twelve - SUCCESSFUL.**_

_**Breed Specimen JA-XIII-00 to another Jenova Project Specimen; age sixteen to age twenty-one - FAILURES; Specimen JA-XIII-00 did not conceive because specimen did not like chosen donors.**_

_**Breeding capacities appear to be flawed from original design. Adjustments initiated; age nineteen – FAILURE; attempts at adjustments proved futile.**_

_**Breed Specimen JA-XIII-00 to another Jenova Project Specimen; age twenty - FAILURE; pregnancy resulted in stillbirth.**_

_**Breeding Specimen JA-XIII-00; age twenty-one - SUCCESSFUL; Specimen JA-XIII-00 gave birth to premature, but viable, male who has been labeled Specimen JA-XIII-01.**_

_**Detain Specimen JA-XIII-00 to the fullest capacities; age twenty-seven – SUCCESSFUL; Specimen JA-XIII-00 is complete and under Shinra control.**_

_**Specimen JA-XIII-00 to be decommissioned; age twenty-seven - FAILURE; Specimen JA-XIII-00 escaped from Shinra facilities with Specimen JA-XIII-01 and the whereabouts of both are now unknown.**_

_**Notes:**_

_**Year 1980: Birth of Specimen JA-XIII-00 resulted in the death of the surrogate carrying her; the infused materia seems to have reacted in a defensive capacity during the onslaught of labor, and JA-XIII-00 was cut from the dead woman's womb immediately after death. Specimen was born at term, large for gestational age and incredibly healthy. Very promising.**_

_**Year 1988: Specimen JA-XIII-00 reached physical maturity comparable to a specimen aged sixteen by age eight; Specimen JA-XIII-00 has ceased aging.**_

_**Year 1992: Specimen JA-XIII-00 is proving just as capable as Sephiroth in SOLDIER capabilities despite being female and of slighter build.**_

_**Year 1996: Specimen JA-XIII-00 has resumed physical aging, but aging is delayed approximately by half.**_

_**Year 1996: Specimen JA-XIII-00 is as fully matured - Specimen JA-XIII-00 is sexually mature, has materia, the Alpha gene, and Jenova cells infused into her DNA; has altered aging capacities; has been properly trained; and can only procreate under ideal conditions that are explicit to her desire to reproduce and enjoyment of her sexual experiences. Initial artificial insemination tests proved her capable of conception in this manner but revealed that she will not carry a pregnancy she does not want and that she can spontaneously abort at will. This is frustrating, but a solution will be found.**_

_**Year 1997: Specimen JA-XIII-00 has undergone one year in Deepground to complete conditioning training to ensure she is of proper capabilities in standard methods for achievable reproduction capacities. Scored highly by all evaluators, even when initially unwilling to comply with orders. Photographic and video documentation attached.**_

_**Year 1997-1999: Specimen JA-XIII-00 refuses to couple with or conceive by her designated sexual partner, Sephiroth. Sephiroth has also refused to pursue the necessary relations while stating that Specimen JA-XIII-00 "would be ill suited for him."**_

_**Year 0000, Late Summer: Specimen JA-XIII-00 flawlessly impersonated Sephiroth in Wutai while Sephiroth was engaged elsewhere, adding to the legend of the General. Specimen also completed mission to wipe out large battalions of Wutai soldiers single-handedly and succeeded in assigned assassination missions. Photographic documentation attached.**_

_**ADDENDUM Year 0000, August 08, 0000: It had come to my attention that Specimen JA-XIII-00 has disobeyed my orders to let no man but Sephiroth touch her; she has engaged in multiple instances of fraternization with SOLDIER 1st Class Genesis Rhapsodos. Building on this interest, I utilized IVF, and she achieved conception via donor material. Resulted in pregnancy and consequently in stillbirth of a male specimen on August 08, 0000 at twenty weeks gestation. Specimen JA-XIII-00 carried the pregnancy successfully until this spontaneous abortion – the circumstances of the stillbirth are under investigation. Dr. Hollander is suspected of tampering with my experiment to save his own.**_

_**Year 0001, January: Confirmation acquired, Specimen JA-XIII-00 has once again conceived, this time by natural means; she refuses to name the father or even any possibilities. This is most vexing. Punishment was dealt via means that would not harm the developing fetus/specimen. Rufus Shinra has not yet been ruled out as a possible sire for the fetus due to her placement as his bodyguard and concubine; testing will not be executable until after birth. This complicates matters.**_

_**Year 2001: JA-XIII-00 presented to science ward in labor. Viable, premature male Specimen JA-XIII-01 born at 12:46 am July 8. Specimen JA-XIII-00 reacted poorly to the cesarean section procedure but is recovering well. Partial hysterectomy was performed against my express orders; future fertility remains to be determined – current projection is slim that JA-XIII-00 will be capable of further reproduction. Those surgeons damaged JA-XIII-00 greatly in their hack job, possibly beyond her innate healing capacities. A complaint has been lodged with the President for compensation at the probable loss of the breeding capabilities for my prime breeding specimen due to gross negligence.**_

_**Year 2007, December 9: Specimen JA-XIII-00 purposefully and deliberately violated her code of conduct and disobeyed direct orders from superiors during the past year, even abandoning her post - Specimen JA-XIII-00 discharged from Turks and returned to Deepground for full reconditioning with hopeful re-induction as a Restrictor. If further misconduct ensues, decommissioning will commence.**_

_**Year 2007, December 10 – 1:27 am: Specimen JA-XIII-00 and Specimen JA-XIII-01 have escaped and both are to be decommissioned upon recapture. As they are the only viable specimens available, this project is now terminated.**_

Reno felt ill as he flipped through the pages. Each bullet point on the summary was accompanied by several pages of notes, each marked to indicate the year they were made. There were also photographs, medical records, stills of video surveillance, some even had hologram discs tucked in sleeves and stuffed in pockets of section dividers—taped down so as not to fall out. The truth of her parentage had stunned him, but that tidbit was instantly overshadowed by the horrors contained therein. He saw one image and could not tear his eyes from it: Carys, trapped in a cell, with at least ten others. Even despite the angle causing part of her body to be obscured, as well as that of one of her attackers, he could easily fill in the blanks. She looked to be a teenager, but the date stamped on the photograph was what truly got him: she had been twelve years old, and she was being gang raped. It was a blow to the gut, and it was enough that tears stung at his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

Similarly, he instantly felt the urge to be violently ill, but he squashed it: not yet. There was more to learn, still. Besides, she bore these scars, as she had for years, stoically and without sign of weakness. He would witness them with the same strength, so that he might one day help her bear them as well. His fingers shook only slightly as he pressed on, finding a second, much smaller dossier tucked into the back. There were fewer pictures, here, but the ones he saw haunted him all the same. First was her son's birth, documented there in full gory detail. There was also a picture of a toddler, dark haired like his mother and already with a rebellious look that indicated precociousness. Clearly, he was being put through training: already he wore a SOLDIER cadet's uniform. What horrors had the little boy also seen? Setting these pictures back into a film page protector, he flipped to the summary for the boy: as he read, his heart very nearly stopped.

_**Project Alpha; Jenova Project**_

_**Status: Project terminated due to loss of all viable specimens.**_

_**Specimen JA-XIII-01**_

_**MALE**_

_**Name: Alistair Nikola**_

_**DOB: July 8, 0001**_

_**Mother: Carys 'Alpha' Valentine/JA-XIII-00**_

_**Father: **__**Reno **__**Capellirossi, Turk**_

_**Experiment Parameters:**_

_**Birth of viable specimen - SUCCESSFUL; viable, premature male labeled Specimen JA-XIII-01. The birth was facilitated by emergency cesarean section as JA-XIII-00 was highly unstable and seemed intent on damaging both herself and the fetus rather than allow us to assist. Both were clearly entering dangerous levels of distress. Video and photographic documentation attached. Medical records attached.**_

_**Preparations for Specimen JA-XIII-01 to be SOLDIER 1st Class Elite; age two – SUCCESSFUL. Documentation of training methods and conditioning procedures attached.**_

_**ALL FUTURE PARAMETERS ABORTED DUE TO LOSS OF SPECIMEN.**_

_**Specimen JA-XIII-00 escaped from Shinra facilities with Specimen JA-XIII-01 and the whereabouts of both are now unknown.**_

_**Notes:**_

_**Year 0001: Specimen JA-XIII-00 was granted the right of naming her son by Professor Hojo, as a courtesy. During training, the boy will be called by JA-XIII-01.**_

_**Year 0001: Paternity confirmed via DNA results – it is with surprise and pleasure that I write the notation designating one of the Turks as the father of JA-XIII-01. How JA-XIII-00 managed this is unknown to me, but I am pleased she still chose a suitable sire. Her own Turk father proved a valuable subject; I know them to be quite suitable to my needs as a result. ~ Professor Hojo**_

_**Year 0003: Entrance into SOLDIER training, age three – SUCCESSFUL. Already the boy shows a level of prowess to rival Sephiroth. Intelligence scores are off the charts, and the boy exhibits the same precociousness as both his dam and Sephiroth did at this age. High expectations.**_

_**Year 0007 – July 8: Promotion to SOLDIER 2**__**nd**__** Class Equivalent – a most wonderful birthday achievement. I am told he was rewarded well and accordingly by the Tsviets and Restrictors for his hard work. ~ Professor Hojo**_

_**Year 0007, December 10 – 1:27 am: Specimen JA-XIII-00 and Specimen JA-XIII-01 have escaped and are to be executed upon recapture. As they are the only viable specimens available, this project is now terminated.**_

Carys felt her mind and body lurch; she finished reading well before Reno did, and unlike the red headed Turk, she had no need of the photographs to aid her understanding as memories rushed back in like a crashing wave. She felt the other half of her mind, the other that inhabited her body, rise in a great clamoring fury. "I'm not dead." The voice, so like her own and yet so different, spoke to her. "I'm going to be back. We still have a lot of work to do. You're going to love me." And then she felt herself falling into blackness.


End file.
